Night before Snowboarding

It’s Friday night, and I need to be up in about six hours, but I thought I would make a brief post while I had the chance. I need some prayers right now because on Saturday morning I’ll be hitting the slopes for the first time in four years. Not only will I be on a Colorado mountain in winter time, I will be taking on snowboarding for the first time! Bethany’s mom graciously gave me a Christmas present of a snowboarding trip, but this weekend Bethany and I are taking her mom up on that offer.

I’ve been nervous about this all week. The last time I was on the slopes, it wasn’t pretty. I have skied about a half-dozen times in my life, and I’ve gotten to be OK at this sport I"m at the point where I am no longer challenged by the bunny slopes, but when I go on to do some Blue runs I get my ass kicked. The last time I went skiing I volunteered to help lead our church’s skiing retreat. I made my 10th run down the easy runs when a few of the teens and our Youth Minister asked me to join them on a run. I told them that I wasn’t very good, I might slow them down.

"Don’t worry about it," the youth minister said, "This is an easy run. It’s not very steep and it levels out for a while." So I took them up on their invitation and went skiing. What followed was one of the most embarrassing hours of my life. I got off the lift and almost immediately I kept falling. I kept going too fast and wasn’t able to stop, which led me to taking tumbles. Then I came to a pretty close encounter with a tree when I decided that I had enough – I took my skis off, and started the humbling walk to the bottom of the mountain.

Now, four years later, I’m going the plunge again – this time doing the snowboard. Hopefully this will be equalizer. Bethany and her mom are avid skiers, but this will be her mom’s first time on the board, for Bethany her third. This is a little comforting, but I’m still pretty nervous. I should be in better shape to be attempting my first snowboard run, I’ve heard about how my butt is going to get killed by the time I’m done, and that I’m just going to fall over and over again. Still, this is going to be a lot of fun. It’s a new experience and after tomorrow I’ll get to say that I’ve tried snow boarding. Who knows, I might end up doing really awesome at it…

So tonight I’m praying for patience, persistence, good health and an ice pack ready for me tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Finding acceptance in unlikely places…

Back in Colorado… The rest of Philadelphia was a blast, and for as much time as I spent on my laptop last week, it’s surprising that I actually didn’t get another entry onto here… I have pictures on their way, as well as some funny stories I’d like to share, but first I would like to reflect on some events in the last two days…

Coming back from Philadelphia my re-entry has been good, but non-stop. I’m a bit behind in school, the Collegian is a little behind schedule, I have a mountain of NCSC work, "work" work has piled through the roof and I’m trying to catch up on sleep.. All throughout this time an NCSC presentation I was supposed to give at J23 has been in the back of my mind. This was supposed to be part Conference reflection, part NCSC general education (to a largely new and uninformed audience), and part NCSC outreach to my local University Ministry. I had the help of great friends of mine, yet his was something that was really getting put off. Partly due to circumstances and scheduling these last few weeks, but part of it is that I didn’t really want to think about it. Of course I want to share my NCSC experiences and involvement with my local student group, but given the whole fiasco with renewing our membership did I seriously expect them to be open to what I was offering?

I was completely blown away by these last few days.

On Monday afternoon the three NCSC’ers met with our University Ministers. I wasn’t really sure why they wanted to meet or what we were going to get out of this meeting, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that not only were they welcoming, but I had this sense of genuine interest and openness to the NCSC and the three of us who have felt particularly alienated by the UM program. The questions they asked were sincere, the suggestions they offered where valuable – a true dialog took place. When we walked out my good friend turned to me and said "This is the best feeling I’ve had after a meeting in the [Student Commons]." I completely echo’d that sentiment. After well over a year of conflict, I finally left a meeting feeling positive and supported. I actually was getting very excited and a bit nervous about making this NCSC presentation.

Tuesday rolled around and along with it came the TNT presentation. We put in a lot of work on Monday. I had five different hand-outs and pieces of information, we put together an awesome photo slide-show, and I actually put together a PowerPoint presentation explaining the basics of NCSC. We came into it pretty well prepared.

Overall the slide show went very well. The audience was a bit small, but they were attentive. We threw a lot of information at them, and they seemed to take it pretty well. I think we may have overloaded them a little, but considering this may have been our only opportunity to appeal to the student group this semester, I felt pretty good about how things went. Again the campus ministers were completely receptive, and it made a great difference in the presentation. It was a very successful night, and in many ways offered some healing and reconciliation for what’s happened with University Ministry at J23…

There was one small part that bothered me… During the presentation we talked about the UN Millennium Development Goals (MDG’s) and the NCSC’s commitment to promote them through our International and Programming efforts. One student (one of the FOCUS bible study leaders), raised his hand and asked, "These goals look good and fine, but how exactly are they bringing Jesus?". He offered the scenario that if these goals are met Extreme Hunger and Poverty would be gone, but "they still wouldn’t have Jesus…" We tried to address some of his issues, explaining that the MDG’s were one of many resolutions, efforts and programming that are being offered – perhaps it’s what he meant.

What I fear is that this student may truly feel that the only way to offer compassion and social justice is through evangelization. I would like to believe that this student doesn’t have this mind-set from his FOCUS experience – I don’t have the information to say one way or the other. However, if his perceived mindset is the case, then I really struggle with that vision. It was as if this student had no concept of Catholic Social Teaching, or the call of charity, compassion and service that Christ calls all to do. Is the perception of "bringing Jesus" so narrow that one feels the only meaningful way of accomplishing this is by direct evangelization (and in many ways proselytising to a person). Do your acts of justice and compassion not reveal Christ’s love, offering a personal encounter with Christ? I struggle because it was just two weeks ago when the Pope addressed this very issue in his Encyclical Letter, in which he beautifully stated:

"Charity, furthermore, cannot be used as a means of engaging in what is nowadays considered proselytism. Love is free; it is not practised as a way of achieving other ends. But this does not mean that charitable activity must somehow leave God and Christ aside. For it is always concerned with the whole man. Often the deepest cause of suffering is the very absence of God. Those who practise charity in the Church’s name will never seek to impose the Church’s faith upon others. They realize that a pure and generous love is the best witness to the God in whom we believe and by whom we are driven to love. A Christian knows when it is time to speak of God and when it is better to say nothing and to let love alone speak."

This was a relatively minor issue, but it was one that did stick with me and felt the need to process a bit. In the end, I was really glad for the experience and opportunity to once again address the University Ministry… A great start to a good, but hectic week….

Philadelphia Greetings – Does the Goat Go?

I got into Philly safely this morning. The over-night flight was a bit hard, but much better than my original 6am flight (meaning that I would have to leave my house at 3am). I rolled into the place that I am staying (coincidentally called "Jeremy House") at 6am and after a bit of location confusion, I managed to get in and get some sleep… I am partially rested this morning, but am ready for a few long days of good meetings, hard work and fun times.

For those who don’t live close to me or haven’t seen me in the last few weeks, you may be surprised to know that I shaved my goatee after the Broncos loss last weekend. After 5+ years of having the goatee, it’s been a bit of adjustment for both myself and people around me. To top it off I also cut my hair pretty short last weekend (it’s been growing pretty long for almost three months), so it’s been a bit of a change.

Right now the jury is still out about whether or not I keep. I have committed to keeping myself clean-shaven at least until the Super Bowl, but right now I’m leaning to going a bit longer.

What triggered this thought was last night on the plane when I ordered my drink. My drink of choice in the error is a tomato juice, but with the goatee I used to cringe whenever drinking it. The juice is so thick that more ends up on the goatee than in my mouth, and the little cocktail napkin they give you does no good… But last night was a completely different story – I barely had to use the napkin at all! It was awesome!

Which leads me to want to create a Pro’s & Cons list about not having goatee and being clean shaven:

Pro’s

  • Don’t have to worry about trimming it and getting all shaggy
  • No random hair ends up in the mouth
  • Easier to kiss with a smooth face (I think Bethany appreciates it too)
  • People say I look younger
  • Orange juice with pulp is drinkable
  • The little cocktail napkin on the plane is enough for the tomato juice

Cons

  • The shape of my face has lost definition – it feels rounder
  • I can no longer stroke the goatee when pondering things

Does anyone else have any pro’s or con’s? I would appreciate any suggestions you may have. I’ll post a picture of myself later on…

I’ll also break out the camera later today to show you some pictures of Philly. We’re not going to see much in terms of sights, but the places we’re staying and meeting at are beautiful!

One of the longest weeks ever…

Throughout this last week there have been many reasons why I have not been able to find time to post. One of the primary reasons was because there was simply no time to be able to process my thoughts, and there were more important things that needed to be taken care of in wake of the events of this last week. The other reason was an intimidation factor – that there are simply no words that could begin to describe the thoughts and feelings that were going through my mind. Even now, more than one week later, I still don’t know if I have all of the words. But I do know that if I don’t attempt to process these thoughts, I won’t be able to move forward in my postings.

Tuesday brought with it a tragedy that altered the following days, and in many ways have changed things where I can only begin to process. A family very close to me lost their young son that day – completely unexpected and shocked us all. I’ll never forget the look on my friend’s face when she delivered me the news, and how at that point things would never be the same. The following days brought about a great deal of prayer, contemplation, recollection, tears, hope, confusion and a range of emotions that don’t even have words to them. I went to work during the week, worried about school, did my NCSC work but it all seemed really empty. Although I remained busy my mind kept drifting back into this state of grief, this sense of not being able to do enough. Emotionally I remained in solidarity with the grieving family, and it was helpful to do what little I could to help the family during this tragic time. I was amazed at the faithfulness and hope the family exhibited, and just a sincere admiration for strength. I know that they are grieving, but there still seems to be a sense of peace that has surrounded their household. I know that these coming weeks will have their share of sadness, but I think that this will also be a time of healing.

This healing time began on Friday night with the viewing and a special prayer service. At this point this young man was surrounded by many whom he had such a profound connection in his life – friends, family, young, old. I was re-united with friends whom I had not seen for years, and those that have traveled many miles to be here – to celebrate this young man’s life. If there is any good that can come from this tragedy, it’s the connections that were re-established. A phrase I heard over the weekend was "I’m sorry that it took circumstances like these for me to reach out to you." I said those words myself to many people.

The healing process culminated on Saturday morning, where over 900 people gathered to celebrate this young man’s life. I had the honor and privilege of playing my drums in the choir, and bringing the gift of music to this funeral Mass. In a sense I almost felt like the character in the popular Christmas song "Little Drummer Boy". I had no gifts that I could bring this young man to honor his life – I don’t know what I could do. But I was blessed that I had the gift to drum and help make this liturgy special.

The Mass was powerful. This was probably the most beautiful and spiritual Mass that I’ve ever been to – it’s strange to be saying these things about a funeral – but it was truly a gift. To look up and see a church so crowded that people were sitting on the floor, in the aisles to be able to be part of this celebration of a young man’s life. The love that was felt – God made His presence known. I was profoundly struck by seeing people who had left John XXIII so long ago through frustration and feeling disenfranchised. None of that mattered Saturday – no one cared about the reasons that drove people away. For one day people forgot about all of the bullshit that complicates our faith community. People forget that they were outcast from a place that used to welcome them so well. Everyone forgot all of the complications and the reasons for feeling the need to leave. For one day John XXIII felt like old times: from the congregation to the music to the celebrant and the participants – this was truly an amazing gift left by this young man’s legacy.

For me, Saturday was a day that I will remember for the rest of my life. Someday when I have children and grandchildren I will tell them about this day, and the transformations that took place within myself and outside of myself. I think back to my experience drumming, and how difficult this was. I have played drums for almost 14 years, played hundreds of shows/concerts/performances. I have played at Mass for almost 5 years, helping enhance the liturgical experience. Never before had I felt an outpouring of emotion behind my drum set as I did on Saturday. It took all that I had within me to keep me composed. I remember playing the David Haas’ Magnificat, praying for the strength to allow me to keep myself together, to play my best and pay tribute to this young man, and ultimately to God. I sat there during the second reading and Gospel, asking God to give me strength. I will carry this memory for the rest of my life.

Only now can I begin to process the impact that this young man’s life had on my own, how he touched us all, The healing process has begun and the grief is still ongoing, but I will continue to pray for grace for the young man, the family that now loves him from afar, and for all those whom he touched with both his life and his death.