Bengals use "the laser"

drevil I came across this story on SI.  It seems that the Bengals stadium has a problem with pigeons flying around and pooping on fans’ food & drinks.  It’s become such a problem that the Bengals got permission to use air-powered rifles to take the pigeons out.  Instead of going to the sniper route, they’ve decided to take a page from Dr. Evil’s playbook and use "the laser" to get rid of the rats with wings.

I kid you not:

Employees were to aim hand-held laser pens at the pigeons during the Bengals’ game with the New England Patriots … The Bengals hope the pigeons will become so irritated by the lasers that they’ll fly away from the beams and pipes above the stands.

That’s your plan?  Shine the lasers in the pigeons eyes and hope they’ll pick up their nest and leave?  What a waste of time – just take them out.